The community has shifted more towards harm reduction over the past few years. The old days of blasting and trashing your self are over.
As for sources they are there in the source threads for US domestic. You should read the threads and research the source on your own.
You start with testosterone and once you learn how to manage that you can try other compounds only after you've studied them extensively to know what the side effects are, this isn't play time, you need to realize that you can cause yourself harm if you don't know what you're doing.
You also need to get labs done. CBC w/Diff, Chem and Lipid Panel, PSA, Total T, run these labs before you start so you have a baseline to know where you're heading if something goes wrong. Also know that you'll probably need to donate blood every 2 months at first until we know how fast you hct rises. Take blood pressure every few days to see if you need an ARB or ACE to keep your pressure under control.